Occasionally, when she observes me yelling in rage and frustration at a video game, my wife will ask the rational questions; “Why are you so angry with an inanimate object, and why do you play it if it causes you such grief?” Friends, I have always been honest with you, this rationality deal is purely aspirational. And so it is that I continue to struggle with my addiction to politics, a field where very little seems to make any sense these days. All of which brings me to Herman Cain.
I really do feel for my conservative friends (yes, I do have quite a fair few of them). Herman Cain is an intelligent guy, an able fundraiser, and a competent top manager. He is also distinguished by the fact that he seems to have a plan of his own not wholly reliant on taking everything the President does or says and turning it into a glennbeckian Marxist fantasy. His plan of course, 9-9-9 (named, I am sure, for the British version of our 9-1-1 emergency call line), is the current incarnation of my frustrating video games. Herman Cain’s plan will raise taxes on the majority of Americans; not working Americans, unemployed Americans; not the 99% or the 53%; the whole bunch of us. Herman Cain is a Republican…and his plan is to raise taxes…and he is still in contention. I feel like I just drank a 32 oz. Slurpee™ in less than a minute.