The world according to Tony Perkins became a better place on May 8, 2012. North Carolina made any form of domestic union between same sex couples constitutionally invalid. Thank God for that! This Earth-shaking occurrence must be the harbinger of longer-lasting straight marriages to come, now that those evil gays can’t infect the Tar Heel state with their gayness. I also wish to pass along my congratulations to all you married first cousins out there in North Carolina; you are exactly what God had in mind when he created marriage, and as sex is for procreation, God will love the little genetic mutants you folks create.
It is legal to marry your cousin in one half of all U.S. states…of course some do draw the line at having children, while enlightened states like North Carolina prohibit marriage between double first cousins. Wow…I was sure glad to here of those constraints…I was starting to worry about their sense of morality. But cousins shouldn’t fret about their rights being limited in North Carolina, because that state has always been light years ahead of the rest of the South when marital sex rights are concerned.
You see, it has always been legal to have oral sex with your spouse in the Tar Heel state, which isn’t at all as insignificant as you might think. Did you know that it took those activist judges on the Supreme Court in 2003 to overturn laws in the 14 states that prohibited married couple from having oral sex and/or anal sex? I guess all those “prosperity Christians” heard from enough ministers that “oral was moral”, at least enough to allow the Supreme Court to make it legal from sea to shining sea. I wonder if Tony Perkins has ever broken morality laws in the states he has visited on his crusade for the most narrow interpretation of the Bible possible.
Scratch that…I don’t care, but these sexual contradictions are giving me a headache. God made marriage, and the man and the wife take sacred vows, but somehow, gay couples marrying would destroy God’s intentions and those sacred vows. But first cousins having oral sex in North Carolina…nothing wrong with that at all!
The Rational Middle is listening…