Well friends, it is just one of those days. Every little thing is getting under my skin, and the thin veneer of rationality I cling to has been ripped asunder. In fact, that last sentence is just about all the fancy prose I can muster this evening, so I will get to the point of this post. What follows is a list of items, habits, events, and people that are sure to raise my ire. Some of them may be familiar to you, some of you may even be guilty of these sins (I know I am).
So no politics today; no rants on sports justice, economics, or the vagaries of national security, just a good old fashioned bitch session. Feel free to join in the comments that follow; just think of this as psychotherapy without the couch or big bill. (Of course, if paying a big bill makes you feel cared for, the donate key is to the left.)
- Cut rate insurance companies and massive advertising budgets-More ubiquitous than political ads during election season, if I never see another caveman, lizard, or weird semi-spokeswomen again, it will be too soon.
- TNT and massive ads for its own shows-Already weighed down with more ads than any other network, TNT feels compelled to play promos, for weeks on end, of its next “season” of shows. I am already watching the network, why they feel like I will appreciate endless replays of the same clips from the “exciting, heart-pumping, earth-shattering, critically-acclaimed new season of The Closer, Hawthorne, or the Bones Rip-Off Hour (Rizzoli & Isles), is frankly beyond my comprehension.
- Network TV and the absence of creativity-Seriously,who came up with “The Talk” as the title of the show trying to compete with “The View”? Who do you suppose these people called for their promotional ideas, Brands For Less? I know that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but have a little dignity (and vision), and at least try to create your own brand identity.
- Cable news and sports channels, “Everything is The Greatest, Worst, or Most Important…Ever!”-My favorite target is, of course, ESPN. Columnist Jason Whitlock has dubbed them “The Worldwide Misleader of Sports”; I think most of the “informative” channels have the exact same format…and they all suck.
- Dumb-ass ideas about people’s hometowns-I was born in raised in Las Vegas, NV; I went to school, church, and don’t like to gamble; I am not unique. My wife was raised in Plymouth, IL; it is not near Chicago, and it did (and does) have indoor plumbing and electricity. Most of this country (and a lot of the world) isn’t all that different from where you grew up.
- Slowing down, putting on the breaks, then engaging the turn signal-It is meant as a warning, gentle readers, to the people behind you. Putting on your signal after you have reduced speed is akin to swallowing the french fries first, then the ketchup.
- Driving in the left lane-Yield to faster traffic; it is courteous, it ensures a smooth flow of traffic, and it just feels good gosh darn-it!
- Fast food joints that hand you your drink at the drive-thru, then make you wait for your straw-Seriously people, what the heck is that about? Some anal-retentive operations manager decided that putting the straw in the bag was a time-saver, so there you sit, a drink in your console, and no way to drink it. It is almost as annoying as number 9.
- Having food thrust at you by the drive-thru clerk without so much as a sign of life-I can almost understand when a minimum wage earning teenager doesn’t smile, say hello, and plus-sell me, but when the managers look at me like the plague….
- Parents whose children are on meds for ADHD, and who are seen feeding said kids 32 oz. sodas at 9 pm-Really? Come on folks, let’s use a little common sense. Your parents didn’t let you eat that garbage close to bedtime for a reason…of course, they also spanked you when you got out of line, but that is another rant entirely.
- Facebook and technical difficulties-Does the social network ever work right anymore? Almost daily, my page gets bogged down, doesn’t load or link correctly, and tries to tell me what to read. I just want my feed, and the ability to modify it for my usage. (And of course, I want all of this for free.)
- All-caps, foul language, and internet trolling-Is it really necessary to yell online? And, to my friends and fellow Obama supporters with temper issues; what do you suppose the President would say about all of that garbage?
I could probably go on like that for another 1,000 words, but I feel better already. Perhaps tommorrow The Rational Middle will return to its regularly scheduled, earth-shatteringly important political diatribes. In the meantime, jump on the comments with your gripes, or gripe about mine…as always…
The Rational Middle is listening…